Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Pride and Prejudice (part IV)

This is the fourth and last installment of my “inspired” short story. Enjoy!

She was crying now. Then suddenly she sat up, “All is not lost. I remember something else Dad had taught me: ‘it’s never too late!’ I will go to Gaj’s palace!” saying so, she opened the door and lo’ and behold, who did she find standing there, shivering in the rain?
They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then TA began to squirm and said, “Can we finish looking at each other inside? I’m sure it’s much better inside than out here (I’m guessing!).”
‘Madhu’ pulled him inside and gave him a big hug. TA almost screamed, “I swear! I swear I’ll leave as soon as the rain stops. Just don’t hurt me! Please!”
‘Madhu’ laughed and said, “Oh TA! You are so funny!”
“Sure I am I am! Whatever you say!”
Mads looked at him with concern and thought, “Why, he’s scared stiff of me!” Loudly she said, “TA, what’s come over you? I’m so happy to see you! In fact, I love you, I always have. I realized it when you left. I shouldn’t have let you go!”
“Oh Madhu! Really?” TA began to dance around the little hut and suddenly dropped to the floor. He had fainted! Mads looked at him with dismay, “Oh no! I was hoping that he’d look after me now, but looks like I’ll have to do the looking after for a while! What a pain!”
She took the pot of rainwater and threw it on his face. He got up with a start and started crying, “Oh Madhu! My kingdom (sob!)! It’s been snatched by that terrible, terrible king Gaja Raj etc. I managed to escape with the skin of my teeth. What do I do now? Waaaaaaa! Boo hoo hoo! I feel so lost, I just…” before he could finish his sentence, he felt the same sting on his cheek as he had felt five years ago, but with less force this time (Mads was pretty weak, as she wasn’t getting enough to eat).
“Get a hold of yourself! I’ll get back your rotten kingdom for you if it’s the last thing I do! I’ll go to Gaj in the morning, and no, you’re not coming. You’ll stay in this hut. But first you must promise me that you’ll marry me soon after you get your kingdom back.”
“I promise,” poor TA mumbled. He hugged Mads and collapsed once again due to exertion.
“Humph! Princes have no stamina at all, except for one thing for sure!” Mads snorted. She fell (ouch once again!) asleep too.
Madhulika woke up in the morning at about 10 o’clock (figures why she is not doing too well for herself!). TA was still sleeping. She tied him up, lest he forget her warning and wandered off somewhere. Then after scrubbing herself clean and donning the most decent clothes she had, she set off for her destination.
She reached the palace gates after half an hour or so. She found them locked and nobody around. She started grumbling and didn’t stop until two guards came and opened the gates after another half an hour.
“I’ve an old appointment with Mr. Gaj. I have to see him,” she said with much authority in her voice. All her pride had suddenly come rushing back, along with the other half of her ego!
The guards just stood and gawped at her. They knew her well and admired her beauty from afar. They kept on staring at her with goofy smiles plastered all over their faces (Mads sure does inspire a lot of goofiness, doesn’t she?).
“Hello? Can you take me to see king Gaj? Hello? HELLO?”
Making no headway with the guards, Mads walked in with her head held high, determined to find the king’s chambers herself.
After entering a dozen and more wrong rooms, she finally found Gaj’s room. He was pulling up his dhoti when she walked in.
“Hey! What took you so long?” Gaj bellowed.
Mads blinked, confused, “You were expecting me?”
“Of course I was! What’s happened to your voice? It’s become thin and sweet. And what the hell are you wearing a skirt for?!” Gaj stopped short, “Uh-oh! You are not Gainender.”
“You bet I’m not!” Mads snapped.
Gaj walked up close to have a better look and realized that it was a woman standing before him, a beautiful one at that.
He batted his sparse eyelashes at her and said, “Haven’t we met somewhere before?”
“That’s the lamest pick-up line I’ve ever heard, but yes, we have met before (unfortunately, or fortunately as the case may be!).”
“We have?” Gaj asked, astonished. He regained his composure and said, “Of course we have. How are you doing Menaka?”
“I’m Madhulika,” Mads said snappily, “And you don’t remember me. You said that your palace gates and bedroom door would be open for me. But they were not! Anyway, do you remember me now?”
“I’ve recited those lines to a countless number of women. How can I remember who you are? And I am getting old too,” he tried to pacify her.
But Mads flew into one of her by now famous (more like infamous) rages, “Dammit! I was the girl who did not accept the gold coins in exchange of my field some five years ago.”
“Ohhh! So that’s who you are. So you have come to say that you have accepted my offer?”
“For God’s sake! You must be at least 70 odd years old, and I’m only 23!”
“You are wrong my dear, I’m 82 years old and raring to go!”
Mads looked at Gaj and said exasperatedly, “you are indeed a difficult and obtuse man, and all you ever think of is sex, even at your age!”
Gaj retorted, “What else is there in life? Life’s routine can get quite boring and predictable. I like to add some spice to it now and then. Don’t you?”
Mads looked at Gaj for a long time, her sharp mind ticking away.
“If I save your kingdom from being attacked, will you marry me and make me your queen?” she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes and smiling seductively.
Gaj looked at her and hopped up and down, “Oh boy, oh boy! But first marry me. We’ll have a grand wedding with….”
“No way! I mean, let’s just have a quick, quiet marriage now and give a grand reception later,” Mads snorted.
“Whatever you say, darling!” Gaj said excitedly, not wanting to displease, his bride-to-be, “Oh! I’m so happy. I could just die and float to heaven!”
“Yeah right!” Mads thought, “you wish!” Outwardly she smiled sweetly at him.
So Mads and Gaj were married. After the simple ceremony, Mads told Gaj, “There is a man in my hut who I’ve tied up. He wanted to attack your kingdom and enslave you.”
Gaj at once sent his soldiers to get poor You-know-who (if not, it’s TA dumbass!).
Poor TA was captured and brought before Gaj and Mads (dressed in rich jewels and silks), seated on thrones of gold (plated, not solid!). TA looked disbelievingly at his ‘Madhu’, who was looking more beautiful than ever. He almost wailed aloud, but managed to control himself, except for a lone tear that slipped down his pink cheek.
“So what do you propose we do with him, sweetheart of my heart, apple of my eye, my honeybunch, delicious pudding, icing on my cake, cherry on my pastry, orange of my soul (hmmm, am quite hungry, I think!)…”
“Enough dear, or you’ll run out of breath,” Mads admonished gently. “This man wanted to enslave you, so it’s only right that he becomes my slave,” she cooed to Gaj and winked slyly at TA, who gave her a broad smile.
Mads beamed happily at everyone and giggled, “Who says you cant have your cake and eat it too?!!”

1 comment:

:..M..: said...

LOL! Finally!

It's strange how I hadn't seen this post the last couple of times I came. Maybe it was blogger's fault.

Post some more. I like to laugh! :))

(PS - The wedding was quite missed out on ALL the food. Man..8-9 different kinds to choose from!!)